Helpful tips for communicating with your child

Helpful Hints
 Let the child know that you are interested and involved and that you will help when needed.
 Listen carefully and politely. Don’t interrupt the child when he is trying to tell his story. Be as courteous to your child as you would be to your best friend.
 If you are very angry about a behavior or an incident, don’t attempt communications until you regain your cool, because you cannot be objective until then. It is better to stop, settle down, and talk to your child later.
 If you are very tired, you will have to make an extra effort to be an active listener. Genuine active listening is hard work and is very difficult when your mind and body are already tired.
 Don’t use put-down words or statements: dumb, stupid, lazy: "Stupid, that makes no sense at all" or "What do you know, you’re just a child."
 Embarrassing the child or putting him on the spot in front of others will lead only to resentment and hostility, not good communication.
 Assist the child in planning some specific steps to the solution.
 Show that you accept the child himself, regardless of what he has or has not done.
 Reinforce the child for keeping communication open. Do this by accepting him and praising his efforts to communicate.
Please visit Search Institute online at www.search-institute.org to explore the assets on your own

Communication is so Important!

Open-Door Communication
A conversation starts. Your child is upset. You’re tired. Pretty soon, the conversation heats into an argument. Disagreements. We’ve all had them with our children. Sometimes it may feel like most conversations end in disagreement and upset. Though it can be challenging to develop positive family communication, family life can be more enjoyable when a positive parent-child relationship is established. Being available for frequent, in-depth conversations is an important role we play in our children’s lives – from the time they learn to talk all the way into adulthood. What we have to do is create an atmosphere of communication – an open door.
The trick with open-door communication is we often don’t realize we create invisible closed doors around us. We get preoccupied and don’t pay enough attention. We’re exhausted. We’re pressed for time. We jump to conclusions before our child says things. We assume the worst. We criticize our kids for what they tell us, so they close the door the next time out of fear or resentment. Sometimes there is no communication to begin with, and it’s hard to get your child to say what’s going on in her or his life.
Having an open door means having an open mind and attitude. It means listening to understand, not to advocate our position. It means being available when our children need us – and when they don’t. It means taking good care of ourselves so that when our children want to talk, we have open ears and an open heart.

Family Time

The holiday rush is in the air. Christmas parties, shopping, family dinners, and who knows what else we will have to do in the upcoming weeks. With this is mind take a deep breath and take a few moments to spend time enjoying your family. It often seems that we forget the importance of being with each other during this special time of year and then we miss all the important events that are happening. Try to schedule a few moments every day to talk with your child(ren) about what is happening in their lives and laugh with them.

Bullying

Bully or Victim?

If you have a problem with bullying, TELL SOMEONE.

Talk to your parents, teachers, counselor, or principals. Often times, students are afraid to tell because they don't want others to think they are tattletales. You are NOT a tattletale when you ask for help in dealing with a bully.

Learn all you can about how to deal with bullies. Below are several websites to get you started. Be sure to ask helping adults how to deal with bullies.

If your bully problem is that you are the bully, TELL SOMEONE so you can learn how to be a friend and not a bully.

Bully Quiz

1. Do you like to hurt other people or animals?
2. Do you feel good when another person is crying or hurting?
3. Do you laugh when others make mistakes or get hurt?
4. Do you get angry a lot?
5. Do you want to get revenge when someone hurts your feelings?
6. Do you always lie or blame others for your mistakes?
7. Do you destroy or steal others property?
8. Do you enjoy calling names, hitting, punching, teasing, scaring, insulting, threatening, kicking, or gossiping about others?
9. Do you always have to be a tough kid?
10. Do you feel happy when others feel bad?

If you answered yes to these questions, there is help for you too. Tell an adult about the problem and check out the following web sites.

Internet Links

http://www.pbskids.org/itsmylife/friends/bullies/

http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/friends/bullies/print_books.html

http://www.bullying.org/

Other Resources

Bullies Are a Pain in the Brain by Trevor Romain, Illustrator and Elizabeth Verdick, Editor

Cliques, Phonies, & Other Baloney by Trevor Romain

How to Handle Bullies, Teasers, and Other Meanies: A Book That Takes the Nuisance Out of Name Calling and Other Nonsense by Kate Cohen-Posey and Betsy A. Lampe, Illustrator

Why is Everyone Always Picking on Me?: A guide to Handling Bullies by Terrence Webster- Doyle

Cooperation Everywhere!

The past two weeks our students have been learning the skills that are required when cooperating others. We have made butter, created bubble wands, had a bubble blowing brigade challenge, created pumpkins, built towers out of spaghetti and marshmellows, and last but not created animals that would only come out on Halloween. Even though we have had loads of fun the students have learned that cooperation is a lot of hard work. They now realize that there are a lot of skills such as; listening, sharing, inviting, encouraging, using good manners, giving compliments, compromising, communicating, taking turns, and problem solving. They also learned that if you don't use all of the skills all the time that they will run into a lot of problems when trying to cooperate with others. It has been a lot of fun watching the students work their way through many diffcult issues and being successful!

Red Ribbon Week is Coming

We will begin on Oct. 25th and have our final event on Oct. 29th. Below are theme days that our students should have fun with and learn at the same time!
Monday – Team Up Against Drugs Day
Students can wear jerseys to show their team effort for our school’s drug free environment.
Tuesday – My day is brighter without Drugs
Students wear yellow
Wednesday – Drugs Give Me the Blues
Students wear blue
Thursday – Inside out Day
Students can wear their shirts inside out for a “Don’t let drugs turn you day. Students will also have educational activities that will teach them how drugs can affect their bodies and brain.
Friday – Red Ribbon Day/ Color My World Drug Free
Students should wear red ribbon to reinforce the key message of our drug abuse prevention program and wear brightly colored clothing or rainbow designs.

Different Learning Styles

Recently your child found out what type of learning style they have. Below you will find descriptors of each style and some pointers on things that they can do that will help them study:

Visual learners are those who learn through seeing things. Look over the characteristics below to see if they sound familiar. A visual learner:
•Is good at spelling but forgets names.

•Needs quiet study time.

•Has to think awhile before understanding lecture.

•Is good at spelling.

•Likes colors & fashion.

•Dreams in color.

•Understands/likes charts.

•Is good with sign language.

Study Tips for Visual Learners
• use visual materials such as pictures, charts, maps, graphs, etc.
• have a clear view of your teachers when they are speaking so you can see their
body language and facial expression
• use colour to highlight important points in text
• take notes or ask your teacher to provide handouts
• illustrate your ideas as a picture or brainstorming bubble before writing them down
• write a story and illustrate it
• use multi-media (e.g. computers, videos, and filmstrips)
• study in a quiet place away from verbal disturbances
• read illustrated books
• visualize information as a picture to aid memorization

.Auditory Learners are those who learn best through hearing things. Look over these traits to see if they sound familiar to you. You may be an auditory learner if you are someone who:
•Likes to read to self out loud.

•Is not afraid to speak in class.

•Likes oral reports.

•Is good at explaining.

•Remembers names.

•Notices sound effects in movies.

•Enjoys music.

•Is good at grammar and foreign language.

•Reads slowly.

•Follows spoken directions well.

•Can't keep quiet for long periods.

•Enjoys acting, being on stage.

•Is good in study groups.

Study Tips for Auditory Learners:

• participate in class discussions/debates
• make speeches and presentations
• use a tape recorder during lectures instead of taking notes
• read text out aloud
• create musical jingles to aid memorization
• create mnemonics to aid memorization
• discuss your ideas verbally
• dictate to someone while they write down your thoughts
• use verbal analogies, and story telling to demonstrate your point


Kinesthetic learners are those who learn through experiencing/doing things. Look over these traits to see if they sound familiar to you. You may be a kinesthetic learner if you are someone who:
•Is good at sports.

•Can't sit still for long.

•Is not great at spelling.

•Does not have great handwriting.

•Likes science lab.

•Studies with loud music on.

•Likes adventure books, movies.

•Likes role playing.

•Takes breaks when studying.

•Builds models.

•Is involved in martial arts, dance.

•Is fidgety during lectures.

Study Skills Tip for Kinesthetic Learners:
• take frequent study breaks
• move around to learn new things (e.g. read while on an exercise bike, mold a
piece of clay to learn a new concept)
• work at a standing position
• chew gum while studying
• use bright colors to highlight reading material
• dress up your work space with posters
• if you wish, listen to music while you study
• skim through reading material to get a rough idea what it is about before settling down to read it in detail.